Noreen Crimpanfortis puts out a press release gushing about the newest Crimpanfortis outdoor marvel – an Interstate lagoon for cliff divers. Right about where I-19 meets the southbound Irvington exit ramp, the folks from Million Mile Airways are planning a spectacle that will make even seasoned motorists blanch. Divers will vault from the catwalk of the billboard from 250 up. “Don’t try this at home,” Ms. Crimpanfortis laughingly warns. Motorists get a splash of the action from the shoulder-hugging waterfall and lagoon. “Who knows?” Ms. Crimpanfortis chortles, “Maybe in a traffic jam you’ll score a free carwash.”

Cliff Divers Above Tucson Provide Dripping, Immersive Ads

The Outdoor Division of Hyper-Citation Media, Inc. is at it again. On the heels of its launch for The Verdict, the outdoor agency with the flair for the dramatic is entering into a joint partnership with Million Mile Travel, Inc.  “This promises to be a really engaging exhibition, says Noreen Crimpanfortis, Vice President of Business Affairs for Hyper-Citation. “I used to really enjoy watching cliff diving on television as a kid. Now imagine the gut-wrenching drama happening right outside your car, truck or SUV.”

Diving Pools Right along the Shoulder

Million Miles Travel proves that fun and games can win out on an international front when it comes to attracting a foreign clientele. “By digging the pools right up to the shoulders, motorists are going to be right in the middle of all the action.”

Million Miles Travel, of course, is known for its controversial promotion the “Lucky Miles Seat.” During each flight, so long as there is no turbulence and the fasten seatbelt sign is off, passengers can check beneath their seat cushion to see if they are the recipients of the “Lucky Miles” promotional package. Prizes include sweats, tees and domestic bourbon at the duty-free shop of any participating airport. Winners can redeem tickets for prizes and merchandise up to one year after receipt of coupon providing they are in a participating airport. Please check the airline’s website for our sponsor partners at a participating airport near you.

To celebrate Millions Miles’ inaugural service to the Hawaiian Islands, the carrier is partnering with Hyper-Citation Media to bring the color, pageantry and danger of cliff-diving to a freeway or Interstate near you. The promotion kicks off in Tucson on I-19 at the southbound Irvington off-ramp. The platform is thirty meters, off the ground.. “You realize these men and women are spectacularly seasoned athletes, highly trained in this discipline,” Ms. Crimpanfortis cautions. “Don’t, and I repeat…don’t try this at home.”

Leprechauns in Wingsuits

Million Miles Travel hopes to open up service to other popular destinations in the coming months. To unveil routes to Ireland, rumors already have it that they are planning a “Live-Action Billboard” promotion with Hyper-Citation providing a cadre of leprechauns in wingsuits.

Finding Billboard Divers Ain’t Cheap

Hyper-Citation will subcontract upwards of fifty certified cliff divers to supply the action. The sprawling pool at the side of the freeway will feature rock formations and waterfalls.  “We obviously can’t get away with this in a place like Minneapolis-St. Paul,” Ms. Crimpanfortis laughs. “We’d be shut down six months out of the year. I guess we’ll have to wait for Million Miles to offer a travel package on ice fishing. But don’t hold your breath on that.”

We’re trusting that motorists will be holding their collective breath as these bodies fly off the catwalk and splash water across the pavement.

“Who knows, if there’s a traffic jam, you might get a free carwash in the deal,” Ms. Crimpanfortis gushes.

# # #