Press Releases
These are a collection of advisories that Hyper Citation, Flying Forge and Hose Powder produce to pump up their addled self-worth in the current chaotic state of the advertising landscape. In essence, these puff pieces could probably be best used to line the bottom of a peacock cage. Here are some examples:
________________________________________________________________________
Press Release – Introduction of the Propulsion Division
Press Release – Branding state lines, civic buildings, schools, bus stops
Press Release – Designing and branding entrances to neighborhoods
Press Release – We elevate neighborhood esteem and raise property values
Press Release – Flying Forge rolls out world’s tallest jukebox collection
Press Release – Intro to Lighting Director for “Pulsating Jukebox Effects”
Press Release – Jukeboxes play the music that is the “Pulse of the City”
Press Release – Municipal design elements: food items and everyday utensils
Press Release – Flying Forge announces shrink-wrap houses and businesses
Press Release – It’s showtime: residential roof tiles
Press Release – “Mega-NEWS Systems” buildouts
Press Release – Leveraging the heights with “super-ultra, high-speed elevators”
Press Release – Introducing “Expressway Audio Feeds”
Press Release – Don’t blame Santa for that bad audio
Press Release – Ubiquitous use of drones: when is too much too much?
Press Release – The magic of hot air balloons in all seasons
Press Release – Direct mail goes to perilous heights
Press Release – Announcing: Geostationary Floating Transmission Facilities
Press Release – “Christmas-Like” Designs of Floating Transmitters
Press Release – Concerts on Floating Stages “Flyby” neighborhoods
Press Release – Client-sponsored venues atop mega billboards
Press Release – Quad-panel technology allows “whole towns to be built”
Press Release – Running of the Interstate bulls
Press Release – Wait’ll you see the floss technique
Press Release – Guts skywriter provides insanely personal greetings
Press Release – “Only in Montana:” chainsaws and helicopters
Press Release – Mythical transoceanic bridge gets legs
Press Release – Gigantic electric eels are descendants of Bigfoot. Yikes!
Press Release – Who’s your turkey?
Press Release – New “voter sport:” stock car racing meets stunning aerial photography
Press Release – Stoplights are major installations and advertising magnets
Press Release – Toll booths fuel lottery winners
Press Release – mechanical crosswalks hearken industrial might
Press Release – What good is a restaurant without a personal runway?
Press Release – World’s fastest baggage carousel offers great advertising
Press Release – Jet propulsion chairlifts and the ability to know when to get off
Press Release – “City that Can’t Promote Itself,” gets kick in the sorry pants
Press Release – Skyscraper houses
Press Release – Designated block homes were meals are served
Press Release – Row houses becoming storefronts
Press Release – Restaurants in the lobby of your apartment
Press Release – Are flatulent computers making us paranoid?
Press Release – Personal marching hallway bands
Press Release – Sunday afternoon lawn bowling
Press Release – Hottest day on record
Press Release – Leeches: your best friends in a pinch
Press Release – Lady Bugs: keeping it really, really clean
Press Release – The real scoop on “Blue Coal”
Press Release – Bringing back dining cars
Press Release – Longing for those “Monopoly Days”
Press Release – Local branding in the Paleolithic Era
Press Release – Avoiding slapdash in your social media
Press Release – Coming to a coal mine near you
Press Release – Local news personalities make horrendous coal miners
Press Release – Market synergy at the force of elastic waistbands
Press Release – Knowing if your cross-platform strategy really stinks
Press Release – Contests that pull clients from hot tubs
________________________________________________________________________