A whole slew of office bickering takes place right behind Morris’ back. He thinks he’s trying to vamoose coal country by staking his claim in the rich content fields of Burbank. He fails to realize that bigger forces are working to determine his future. And that does not bode well for the struggling show producer. He has no concept of the danger that awaits if he gets reassigned to another division. Blithely, he continues pitching shows to his sister. But we see in an urgent message from Dirkie Tirk to Noreen, everything is on the table as far as Morris’ future. And that future entails a high degree of risk. Dirkie can ill-afford to have an amateur like Morris gum up the works. He pleads with Noreen to talk sense into her empire-building father. Will Noreen be successful? Or will Morris be sent packing to a place he has no business being to assume the persona of a death-defying grass blade?

Typical Hair-on-Fire Missive

Oh Boy Noreen,

Boris Fornhenge from the design crew has just taken a bite out of my hide explaining what your Father, the esteemed Morris Crimpanfortis IV, has planned for young Morris on the Jersey Turnpike. It does not sound good, it does not sound feasible, and in my estimation you need to do something to stop it down immediately!

Here’s the essence sweetheart. You don’t mind if I call you that, right? We’ve been family friends for more generations than I’m inclined to count. I care a great deal about your family, and that’s why I care about what happens to young Morris. But to a greater extent, I care about what happens to my crack professionals at Hose Powder, Inc. I have a reputation to uphold, you know . . . but more on that later.

Update on the Alexander Hamilton Service Plaza

You are surely up to speed on what is being planned for the Alexander Hamilton service plaza extravaganza. We’re going to have a little bit of everything in this nonstop, 24-hour show – a dash of this, a dollop of that. You know how these things work. Of course, the focus of the show is the fine stable of products from the great people at Kentucky Power Glide, Inc. Do you remember last year when they treated us all to the Kentucky Derby? Will you ever forget that?

Here’s the deal: we don’t want to let them down with any – how shall I say . . . personnel that doesn’t live up to the gold standard of the Hose Powder stunt performers. By that I mean our dear Morris. He has no business being anywhere near a staging area, much less a platform where the grass blades are launching.

Don’t Forget the Flitting Dandelions

Now, as far as the dandelions, they are all going to be on jetpacks. I have assurances that Morrey won’t be considered for a dandelion position, because he isn’t licensed as an authorized jetpack user. Need I remind you of the level of sophistication involved in some of their stunts, swooping down to the motorists on the Jersey Turnpike? You know the score, you know what I’m talking about, right?

The grass blades, I don’t know . . . that’s another story with the bungee cords. Still, do you want your brother flipping out of the heights, dive-bombing the parking lot of the Alexander Hamilton service plaza? If that doesn’t have potential disaster written all over it, I don’t know what does.

The Ballad of One Misguided Grass Blade

The bottom line is this, Lambkins, I can’t afford my stellar reputation being potentially besmirched by the actions of one misguided grass blade. I also can’t afford to be saddled with anyone who doesn’t know what they’re doing. Don’t forget, the incompetence of one performer could affect the whole shooting match.

I know you understand and look forward to you taking the proper steps to dissuade your father of this off-kilter proposition, thus saving my reputation as well as the health, safety and well-being of your brother.

I look forward to catching up with you in Chi-town over the Fourth of July.

Sincerely yours,

Dirkie Tirk

CEO – Hose Powder, Inc.